Don't eat the Lettuce

Dont Eat the Lettuce
By: Brett Matthes

Lettuce is bad
In so many ways
For one thing, it's green
And you know what that says?

It says that it grows
Right out of the ground
Which means you can find it
In a gritty dirt mound

Now when I think of the ground,
I don't know about you
I don't see a food tray
I see where pets poo

If you ponder on this
I think you will see
What you put on your taco
Grew in animal pee!

The story of the salad
Began as a gaff
A man fed some to his in-laws
To get a big laugh

The tradition caught on
It got out of control
Now you can't dine
Without a big leafy bowl

And now here we are
And I hope you will hear us
What ever you do
DON'T EAT THE LETTUCE